The Long Ride

I've been warned often that going through international adoption is like being on a long roller coaster ride.  I suppose that all of my pregnancies were the same.  From the first tests coming back positive, to the nauseous feeling that confirmed there was in fact life inside my body.  On to the overwhelming exhaustion felt, the desire to do nothing but lie on the couch while my hubby took care of me.  Then there were the doctors appointments, nervously waiting to hear heartbeats and being so relieved when they came.  The miscarriage experience, loving a child w/ all I have, knowing that he or she is in Heaven and that we will be united one day.  Being put on bed rest and doing everything within my power to make sure my boy was healthy only to be born post-due date.  LABOR PAINS!!!!!!!  Yes, it was a roller coaster, totally worth it, something I would do over and over and over again because of the reward of being Mama that comes along with the ride.

Well, I actually love roller coasters, have since I was pretty young.  My dear cousins sparked the love once again this past summer as I found myself headed face down on Superman, having the time of my life....So, last week, I was at the height of our adoption roller coaster, having the hope that Abush might get to be home with us for Christmas.  I envisioned him on Christmas morning, listening to Scott read the story of the Savior's birth to him for the first time, clapping along as we sang happy birthday to Jesus, being happily overwhelmed as he found wrapped gifts under the tree....all for him, playing with cousins and brothers whom he would never have to officially say goodbye to.  Yes, I was at the top, my favorite place to be, little did I know, an unexpected loop was around an invisible corner and would soon turn my stomach into shambles.

Our papers were sent to DC today, a huge step in the process so I confirmed w/ the agency that everything was ready to go.  I then got the news that it would probably be 3-4 months before we would get to travel to Ethiopia to bring Abush home.  It didn't matter how I tried to twist up a calendar in my mind...we're looking at February at the earliest.  I have to say, that peace that the Lord promises, the one that transcends understanding, it covered me.  To Him be the glory!  Don't get me wrong, I am so sad that my boy has to stay in his orphanage any longer than necessary.  We are here, we are able, we are ready, we want to take care of Abush.  But here's what I know:  For whatever reason the Maker has, we have to wait a few more months.  His timing is perfect, His plan is perfect.  And I know full well that no one can take care of Abush better than his Creator.  So I sit and trust, a little nauseous and a lot sad.  I have a mommy heart and all it wants is to take care of my boy, for him to feel secure, full, cleaned and full of joy.  But the ride isn't over so on we go, waiting for the date and looking forward to meeting our boy.  One thing I know, if God wants to bump the date up, He can and will.  And yes, that's certainly what I'll be praying for.  Hoping for a smooth ride as the papers go through to the embassy this week.